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a wish [19 Jan 2007|10:46pm] I wish to feel smaller under your sheets. I wish for the whole truth every time you speak. I’m thinkin’ about how you care half as much for me While I watch you arrive, smoke cigarettes, sleep… 2 comments|post comment

[03 Nov 2006|01:25am] its time for winter again oh dear post comment

hello? [20 Oct 2006|04:30am] hello everyone im still alive and well how about yourself? have heard from any of you in a while heres what ive been up to post comment

[23 May 2006|09:40am] you now that momment in life when it seems like all the pieces are starting to come together again. all the mistakes you've made in the past are starting to fade away and its like your being given a second chance at life. well its being played out in my life. im sort of scared i'll fuck it up again but im also beging to learn how to trust myself and maybe now i'll make the right choices. i'm doing so well with him, he makes me happpy. this is me living my life again. 2 comments|post comment

i worry toooooo much [11 May 2006|09:32am] i thought last night would be bad, really bad, but it turned out pretty good. lately the slightest things make me freak out, its like i've all of a sudden place so much importance on everything. im just so scared of things getting shitty again, like before. before when i always felt alone and i had so many people caring for me. i used to be so good at putting my toughts into words and exposing them but now, now i can hardly speak each time we sit in the car its like my mind goes blank, my toughts qucikly hide in the back of my head and were're left there sitting in silence silence isn't bad, but when your trying to make things better, it could be a problem but theres no problem fuck its just me i worry to much and i have anxiety problems i wanna see a doctor i wanna be fixed but i still want to be me it seems like i've always had so many problems that now that there arn't any i don't know what to do so i create them.( that dosent't sound right) maybe this is me, maybe im just a fucking mess and thats what makes me, me i dunno i just wish someone had allll the answers i wish someone would look me in the eyes and tell me whats wrong am i selfish? is that it? ahhh i don't know, i actually care so much about people i try hard to please others, that i love. i haven't had a good heart to hearrt convesation in a while the only people that take time to have those with me are jessica and chris. He called me last night and we talked for hours, like four years ago. Chris is such a nice friend, he understand me and i him. thanks for listening i love people that listen even when i don't talk, it's like they just know. 3 comments|post comment

[09 May 2006|09:45am] i saw karen O. form the yeah yeah yeahs this day. jessica always said i looked like her haha some girl at the show said i looked like her too funny. i wanted to meet her but had no luck in that department i guess thats kinda good cuz i have no idea what i would have said to her me and chantel 1 comment|post comment

[05 May 2006|10:50am] my jebbicah and amy oh how i miss you. 1 comment|post comment

[21 Apr 2006|11:17am] "This place is a prison and these people arn't your friends" With so many things occuring each day each minute seems to enforce its own emotion you chose to accept his moment or to let it pass most often we take in rather then ignor and when we turn ourselves into what we most dislike we balme all but us a tv screen just exerts images we creat meaningless moments that get traped deeply inside of our hearts fuck just let it go let it go like we all have once before post comment

nothings really [16 Apr 2006|10:50pm] the plants are being watered my heart is growing and summer is foot steps away this excitement tags along with fools but maybe my grown up body can handle this post comment

god save the queen [28 Mar 2006|10:44am] my birthday was on the 26th oh man do i have bad luck i have mono!!! feeling sleepy 24/7 is not that great but at least im alive and able to say im now 18 years old i feel so small and not grown up at all theres so many things i still need to learn argh im not ready give me a couple more days please yeah and as always i miss you jebby!!! 2 comments|post comment

man why dont u get a job? [14 Mar 2006|09:43am] mmm so i finally got a job i start this thursday at micheals its an arts n crafts store i haven't even started and im all ready sick of it haha thats me for ya but i need the money for my summer trip argh i hate it fuck this job it takes time away from me seeing my tyler fuck ummmkay. 2 comments|post comment

fuck [27 Feb 2006|10:30am] I miss you so much your heat the way the smoke tasted as it passed through your air and how u always gave me time to think im coming home this summer dont forget me el paso jebby this is our apple tree 3 comments|post comment

[20 Feb 2006|07:31pm] today i learned some of the feelings i thought were not real really are and its okay to love just know that you might get hurt there is always a chance its always a risk and this time im taking it 2 comments|post comment

just remember [23 Jan 2006|09:09pm] a peice of me was taken away friday jan/20/06 little is left 1 comment|post comment

[23 Jan 2006|06:44pm] tracks 2 comments|post comment

[22 Jan 2006|11:12pm] how else do you expect me to stay awake through this life 4 comments|post comment

[20 Jan 2006|11:46am] today we created our own freedom took the keys and drove away, only to be stopped by the end of the road so we took off our shoes and felt the warmth of the world everything was beneath us then life took off as we remember what it felt like to be real 4 comments|post comment

[17 Jan 2006|08:26pm] parks don't mix with snow she said 2 comments|post comment

[11 Jan 2006|08:14am] im your fucking queen lifes empty right now im fine though just bored of seeing other success while watching my own failure it's simple really i just do whats need to get by i think most of us are like that i feel a need to be given a great reward but fo what? my lack of faith or mabe the ease i place upon important things you should see it the way i intoxicate my body its discusting but the thing is i could stop if i had a reason to ---dandelion post comment

[02 Jan 2006|09:17pm] stages of life. 10 comments|post comment

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